Bleach: Life and Times of The Newest Recruit!
by HollowLover222
Summary: New Character in Soul Society! Read to find out who he is! PLEASE REVIEW, DAMMIT!
1. Chapter 1

BLEACH: The Life and Times of the Newest Addition to the Thirteen Squads

The Life of Tori Aoiyama (his name means Bird of the Blue Mountain)

There is a new soul reaper in town and his name is Tori Aoiyama. His Zanpakuto's name is Shichimaru. He's already mastered his Bankai which is called: Shichimaru Konkyo. He has snow-white hair and deep red eyes. He is young: about sixteen years old. He is the vice-captain of Captain Byakuya Kuchiki.

Here is his story:

It is a sunny day in Soul Society and Tori is just about to wake up when…

Tori: zzz zz

Momo: Hee hee. Time to wake up, Aoiyama-kun…

Momo jumps on Tori's sleeping body

Momo: RISE N' SHINE, TORI-KUN!!!

Tori: Yee-ouch! Your weight is crushing my body!!!

Momo: Are you saying I'm fat?

Tori: No, that's not it at all. You didn't have to jump on me like that! Could you please get off me?

Momo: Fine…

Momo crawls off of Tori's body.

Tori stands up and yawns and then stretches

Tori: I wonder what Captain's up to.

Momo: Who, Kuchiki-sama? He's probably asleep right now. You shouldn't wake him.

Tori: Hey, you're Toshiro's vice-captain, right?

Momo: Nope.

Tori: Then, who are you under?

Momo: I use to be under captain Aizen…

Momo starts to develop tears in her eyes

Momo: But, he turned out to be a traitor. sob I loved him at one point…

Tori: Well, uh… sorry for bringing that up.

Tori and Momo walk through the hallways of squad 6. Tori sees Captain Kuchiki walk by.

Tori: Oh, Captain Kuchiki, you're already awake?

Byakuya: Yes. It seems like there'll be a lot of paperwork today. I'll be in my office. Let me know if something happens.

Tori: Yes, sir!

Byakuya walks past the duo and they all continue walking.

Rangiku approaches and Tori sees her big breasts and goes into shock mode

Rangiku stops in front of Tori

Rangiku: Hey, have you seen, Toshiro around?

Tori goes back to normal

Tori: Nope, haven't seen him, yet.

Rangiku: Dammit! There's something bad going on right now. Ukitake's dying!

Tori: No way! This is serious news! We have to get to Captain Unohana immediately!

Rangiku: Oh, Momo you're here too?

Momo: Well, duh.

Tori: Momo, this is Toshiro's vice-captain we're talking to, have a little more respect.

Momo: Sorry.

Rangiku: (in a smart-ass tone) you two make a great couple. (Giggles)

Tori: That's not very funny.

Rangiku starts laughing hysterically and her boobs start to jiggle

Tori goes into shock mode once again.

Rangiku and Momo rush to Ukitake's aid, leaving Tori in shock mode still.

We see Ukitake lying in his sick bed, being carried on a stretcher by Tori and Renji.

Tori: Move it, move it, sick captain coming through!

Renji: There is no one here, dumbass! You didn't need to yell that in the hallway!

Tori: its okay, I just wanted to say that!

Renji: Dumbass…

Ukitake: (faintly) Tori…why are you here? You should be reporting to Byakuya-sama.

Tori: Aiding another captain is more important right now, Ukitake! We'll be at Unohana's place soon enough!

When they finally arrive at Unohana's station…

Tori: Huh? Captain Kuchiki! What might you be doing here, sir?

Rangiku: WHAT?! YOU SERVE BYAKUYA-SAMA?! LUCKY BASTARD!!!

Tori: Lucky? HA!!! YOU WISH!!!

Byakuya starts to get pissed.

Byakuya: Excuse me? Would you like to repeat yourself, Aoiyama-kun?

Tori: Excuse my language, Captain! This one is very sorry!

Byakuya: Don't say that again, understood?!

Tori: YES SIR!!!

Tori and company arrive at Unohana's medical treatment facility.

Unohana: Let me guess… Ukitake's having another tuberculosis attack?

Momo: unfortunately, yes.

Rangiku: It looks majorly bad this time!

Unohana: I will see that he is taken care of then. Ugh, he really needs to retire. He's getting in worse shape every day.

Tori: (Thinking) Man, Ukitake could use the retirement.

Momo: I just hope he's okay.

Rangiku: (thinking) Ukitake is in worse shape…yeah they're all right. He needs to retire.

Meanwhile, in the Human World…

Ichigo is at school in the classroom. It's his second year in high school. He is now a second year. Luckily, all of his friends got to be in the same class with him.

Ichigo: When is everyone goin to show up?

Tatsuki: You know, I heard we're getting a new student in this class soon.

Ichigo: When did you hear about that?

Shinji walks into the classroom.

Ichigo: WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT THE #& IS HE DOING HERE!!!

Tatsuki: You know him?

Ichigo: KNOW HIM?! I HATE THAT BASTARD!!!

This concludes our first chapter… Look forward to the next one!


	2. Chapter 2

Bleach: The FanFic of DOOM! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA! Guess Who?

By HollowLover222

Ichigo: Hey, Rukia! Where the hell are you?

Rukia: I'm up your ass and around the corner, moron.

Ichigo: EEEEEEEEEK! You didn't have to sneak up behind me like that!

Rukia looks at Ichigo with pity.

Rukia: You are such a dork.

Ichigo returns to normal.

Ichigo: I am not.

Rukia: ARE TOO!

Ichigo: Am not!

Rukia: ARE TOO!

Orihime sneaks up behind Ichigo and covers his eyes.

Orihime: Guess who!

Ichigo: Oh, it's you…um, uh, Chad?

Rukia: What the F?! Ichigo, ARE YOU RETARTED OR SOMETHING??!!

Ichigo: Relax, I was just kidding. Now, could you be, Uryu?

Orihime: No, silly it's me.

(Let go of his eyes)

Ichigo: Oh, it's you, Yuzu.

Rukia: It's Orihime you dork!!!

Ichigo: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!

Rukia: Finally you get it!!! Thank you Jesus!!


	3. Chapter 3: Tori is Introduced!

Bleach: Life and Times of the Newest Addition to the Thirteen Squads

Chapter 2: This next chapter will be when Ichigo finds Tori fighting off a couple of Arrancar scouts. This is also the chapter where Urahara finds some disturbing evidence that Aizen might still be alive…and remember: REVIEW, DAMMIT!!!

Previously…

Ichigo: What the $&?! WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?!!

Tatsuki: You know him?

Ichigo: Know him, I hate the bastard!!!

Onto Chapter2…

Shinji: What is _your _problem?

Ichigo: Dammit, Shinji, you show up at school like nothing happened!

Tatsuki is looking really confused right now.

Ichigo: So, why are you here, Shinji Hirako?

Shinji: What do you have against Vizards?! We're on the same side, right? Come on be nice!

Ichigo: SAME SIDE, MY ASS!!! YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!!! DID YOU REALLY THINK I'D FORGET ABOUT THAT?!!

Orihime enters the classroom due to hearing a big commotion.

Orihime: Hey guys, what's all the commotion about?

Shinji: Oh, HI ORIHIME!!! Could you talk some sense into this maniac?

Ichigo gets even more pissed…

Chad walks into the room hearing all the commotion.

Orihime: Oh, uh good morning Chad!

Chad: Oh, good morning.

Tatsuki: Yo, what's up, big guy?

The commotion stops and Keigo enters the classroom.

Keigo: (Talking really fast) Helloooooooo, world!! HI ICHIGO!!! HI EVERYBODY!!! How was everyone's break?! Mine was so freakin' awesome! First, there were amusement parks, I had so much fun, and I was drenched in my own sweat!! Oh, by the way, you know about the new park, Magical Land? I went there and it was soooo much fun!!! So, Ichigo what did you end up doing for break? I bet it was way cool because my buddy deserves the best, right?!! No, no? Alright fine don't talk to me but, I won't be there for when you get really, really bored and start puling out your own hair till' you look like a freakin' chrome dome!!!

Ichigo: One, you talk too much. Two, (yells) ICAN'T UNDERSTAND A FREAKIN' THING YOU'RE SAYING, DAMMIT!!!

Orihime to Chad: Wow, they really get along, don't they?

Chad: (nods)

Tatsuki: It would be a big problem if there were two of Keigo around, wouldn't it? Huh? Oh, Orihime! I barely noticed ya!

Orihime: Oh, hi Tatsuki! (Hugs Tatsuki)

Chizuru walks into the classroom. She sees Orihime and gets really excited!

Chizuru: Hi there, Sweet Princess, Orihime (hugs Orihime), I missed you! How was your break?! I bet it was really fun, huh? Did you have any parties?

Orihime: Uh well not really…

Chizuru: What? You mean it really wasn't fun after all?

Orihime: No what I meant to say was I didn't throw any parties or stuff like that.

Chizuru: So, what did you do during break?

All of a sudden, a flood of Spiritual Pressure enters the room and everyone in the classroom starts freaking out. Then, Tori enter the room.

Spiritual Pressure stops.

Tori: Hi, y'all what's shakin?

Ichigo: (thought) what the hell was that Spiritual Pressure just now? It came from that kid with the white hair. He looks like a complete idiot. Who is this kid?

Tori: Hey, everybody, I just came in from Soul…I mean Europe, yeah Europe, that's it.

Tori is of course, all smiles. Just waving to everybody in the class.

Everyone looks back at Tori.

Orihime: (Thinking) that kid has intense spiritual pressure. I wonder if he's a soul reaper above captain level.

Tori: (Thinking) Dammit, have to learn to control my spiritual pressure.

Shinji: Oh, great, another Soul Reaper in the same class as Kurosaki. Damn.

Chad: (Thinking) so, he's a soul reaper.

Chizuru: Hey, Orihime, do you know what that pressure was, just now?

Orihime: No, why do you ask me?

Tori: …………

Ichigo: (Thinking) damn, he's got spiritual pressure that's stronger than Byakuya. I remember that because when I fought him, his pressure almost fried my brain.

Keigo: That…was…freaky.

Tatsuki: So that's some heavy wind, eh guys? (Chuckles nervously) Eh heh heh heh!

Chad: That wasn't wind. It was some kind of pressure that not even I can explain.

Tatsuki: Wow.

Orihime: (Thinking) so, everyone here has some sort of reiatsu, now. Why is that? Even Chizuru has a little bit of ability to sense spiritual pressure. Weird.

Tori: sees Orihime and stares for a few seconds. Orihime doesn't notice him.

Tori: Damn, she's cute!

Ichigo walks toward Tori.

Tori: Oh, hi; I'm Tori Aoiyama and I just transferred from Europe.

Ichigo stops in front of Tori.

Ichigo: Are you from the Soul Society? You'd better not bullshit me, got it?

Tori: Geez, what's your problem?

Why has Tori come to the human world? I guess we'll find out in the next chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

Bleach: The Life and Times of the Newest Addition to the Thirteen Court Guard Squads!

Okay, this is the chapter where Tori is seen fighting off Arrancars. Sorry about ruining your expectations everybody! This is the first part of the battle so, please review!!

Tori and Ichigo walk to the front yard of the school to discuss the reasoning of Tori's arrival.

Ichigo: So, why are here? Some business with the Soul Society? Whatever it is, I want no part of it!

Tori: Patience Kurosaki-kun. Patience. I'm here because I need to warn you about something.

Ichigo: Oh, COME ON WHAT IS IT NOW?!! I HAVEN'T HAD TO USE MY SOUL REAPER POWERS IN MONTHS, AND NOW THIS SHIT!!! WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE?!!

Tori: That's why I said you need to be patient, Kurosaki-kun. You'll find out what I mean soon enough. Kisuke Urahara and his companions were caught sneaking around snooping on intelligence troops yesterday, and when they were questioned, Kisuke said that there may be evidence to prove that Sosuke Aizen is still alive. Or…at least that's what I heard.

Ichigo's face turns to a look of pure bewilderment as he heard "Aizen" and "still alive" put together in one sentence.

Ichigo: I-I-I don't believe it! You mean to tell me that that bastard is still alive somewhere.

Tori: Yes, but at the moment we don't know what he is doing. We don't even know if Aizen's Konpaku is still human. Besides, there are ways to bring back a soul. It just won't look the same when it's brought back.

Ichigo: So, Aizen might be some kind of monster…or something? I'm lost.

Tori: This is why he's blonde.

Ichigo gets pissed and punches Tori in the face.

Ichigo: YOU WANT TO SAY THAT AGAIN, ASSHOLE?!!

Tori: So, it's true about what they said about your punch! You're like a monster!!

Ichigo stomps off into the distance.

Tori: Huh? Wait! Ichigo! I haven't warned you about the Arrancars yet!!!

Ichigo: Yeah, well see you in Hell, bastard!

Tori: Hey, now that's mean!!!

Tatsuki is watching Ichigo stomp off and Tori being a jack ass.

Tatsuki walks toward Tori and offers him a hand. Tori is of course, lying on the ground with a doofus expression on his face.

Tori: Oh, Tat-chan. This is a surprise.

Tatsuki helps him up.

Tatsuki: You know Ichigo is sensitive, right?

Tori: Oh about that…eh heh heh.

Tatsuki: Oh, and by the way, don't call me Tat-Chan unless you really know me. It sounds like you're trying to flirt with me if you do.

Tori: (thinking) Wow, she is really butch for a girl her age. I've also heard that she's really tough…in that human kind of way.

Tatsuki walks away from Tori and starts to head home.

Tori: She sure is cute, though.

LATER THAT NIGHT…

Its midnight in Karakura town and Tori had felt some kind of strong spiritual pressure. Tori is staying with Urahara for now. Anyway, Tori decided to go on patrol in soul reaper-form (so that he couldn't be seen) to find what was causing the disturbance. Tori is of course jumping off of roof tops in a ninja-like fashion. He's using Shunpo to get around faster.

Tori: (thinking) I swear I felt something. That pressure was above captain-class. Was it an arrancar? No, it couldn't be. Any arrancar would hide its spiritual pressure before heading out in blind sight like this.

Suddenly, without warning, a man starts to pursue Tori. The man is also in soul reaper form. Or, is it even a man?

Tori: Hey, wait a sec. Soi Fon-Taicho!

Indeed, it was Tori's former captain, Soi Fon.

Soi Fon: So, you knew who I was, even from a distance, huh? Those are some sharp eyes you got there!

Tori: Glad to see you here. I was worried I might be alone out here. So, did you feel the spiritual pressure?

Soi Fon: Kind of hard to say, because I'm feeling yours right now.

Tori gets a sweat drop icon above his head.

Tori: Uh, Captain? Not to sound rude or anything but, that really didn't sound right!

Soi Fon: Put a lid on it, you perv!

TO BE CONTINUED!


	5. Chapter 5

Bleach: Life and Times of the Newest Addition to the Thirteen Court Guard Squads!

This is a spoof! This is an outtake page from my fanfic! I will amuse you all. BOW DOWN TO ME, DAMMIT!

Scene where Ichigo hits Tori…

Tori: And this is he's bwonde.

Ichigo: You want to say that again, uh…wait; Bwonde? What the hell kind of word is that?

Tori: Bursting with laughter.

Tori: BWONDE! OH SHIT THAT"S FUNNY!!! BOWNDE!!!

ICHIGO: Hey, you know, that is pretty funny. Bursts out in laughter!

Scene where Soi Fon calls Tori a perv…

Soi Fon: Put a kid on it, perv!

Tori: A kid; what the hell am I supposed to do with a kid?!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Soi Fon: Did I say kid? Oh, I guess I did…Bursts out laughing.

Director: CUT DAMMIT!!!

Scene where Tori is helped up by Tatsuki…

Tori: Oh, hi Tat-Chan! What a pleasant surprise…uh Hey wait! You're supposed to help me up! Don't be a bitch, Tat-Chan.

Tatsuki: Oh hell no! You did not just call me a bitch!

Tori: FINE! I'LL HELP MYSELF UP!!!

Director: Stop fighting or it's another pay cut for both of you! Goddammit, they need to learn to behave -.-!

Me: Now for Tori's never he would say that phrases!

Me: This should be fun!

Tori: Yeah, for you it would be.

Me: Oh, shut up, Tori. You're lucky I even made you up in the first place.

You're hot Rangiku! Look at those humongous boobs of yours! How big are your nipples?!

Momo, you fatass, get the hell offa me!

Oh, Ichigo, you're a wussy!

Gin is my homeslice!

Tat-Chan, you ho! Get yo bitch-ass over here!!!

The end for now…Look me up when September ends! OOPS! Must have been sleep singing again!


	6. Chapter 6

Bleach: Life and Times of the Newest Addition to the Thirteen Court Guard Squads!

This is a spoof! This is an outtake page from my fanfic! I will amuse you all. BOW DOWN TO ME, DAMMIT!

Scene where Ichigo hits Tori…

Tori: And this is he's bwonde.

Ichigo: You want to say that again, uh…wait; Bwonde? What the hell kind of word is that?

Tori: Bursting with laughter.

Tori: BWONDE! OH SHIT THAT"S FUNNY!!! BOWNDE!!!

ICHIGO: Hey, you know, that is pretty funny. Bursts out in laughter!

Scene where Soi Fon calls Tori a perv…

Soi Fon: Put a kid on it, perv!

Tori: A kid; what the hell am I supposed to do with a kid?!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Soi Fon: Did I say kid? Oh, I guess I did…Bursts out laughing.

Director: CUT DAMMIT!!!

Scene where Tori is helped up by Tatsuki…

Tori: Oh, hi Tat-Chan! What a pleasant surprise…uh Hey wait! You're supposed to help me up! Don't be a bitch, Tat-Chan.

Tatsuki: Oh hell no! You did not just call me a bitch!

Tori: FINE! I'LL HELP MYSELF UP!!!

Director: Stop fighting or it's another pay cut for both of you! Goddammit, they need to learn to behave -.-!

Me: Now for Tori's never he would say that phrases!

Me: This should be fun!

Tori: Yeah, for you it would be.

Me: Oh, shut up, Tori. You're lucky I even made you up in the first place.

You're hot Rangiku! Look at those humongous boobs of yours! How big are your nipples?!

Momo, you fatass, get the hell offa me!

Oh, Ichigo, you're a wussy!

Gin is my homeslice!

Tat-Chan, you ho! Get yo bitch-ass over here!!!

The end for now…Look me up when September ends! OOPS! Must have been sleep-singing again!

Me: Yes, Tori is such a dork!


End file.
